so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
