How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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