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Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
