I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
