You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
