I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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