you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
