Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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