WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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