are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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