when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
