I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
