i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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