The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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