she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
