I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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