i just google imaged poop.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
