its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
