My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
