I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
