you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
