Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I supernannyed him into submission
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
