i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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