THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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