My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
