i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
