So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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