You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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