Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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