so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
