I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
