your thong is hanging out like whoa
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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