There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
