try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
