girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
