the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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