Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
