Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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