guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
