so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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