so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
