Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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