I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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