you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
