yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
