You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am one with the molecules
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
