Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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