okay pat passed out under dana's car
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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