So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
