Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone shattered a urinal.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
