...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
